Chocolate Milk & Casting Crowns

Being a broken Christian isn't so hard, really. All you have to be is a thinking, feeling human being who tries to follow the model that Jesus provided. That's a pretty tall order, for certain, but not impossible. Honestly, all you have to do to go from broken vessel (think clear plastic, very bio-degradable) to Christ-like is to maintain your transparency and allow yourself to be filled with Him through His Spirit. No one ever says, 'Hey, look at that clear plastic bottle filled with chocolate milk!'. No, they say, 'Hey, grab me that bottle of chocolate milk'. Everyone knows that the bottle isn't the chocolate milk. They know that the bottle merely contains the milk for a season. Once you have consumed the milk, you can discard the container. I want to be that container, used by God to transport Jesus to a thirsty soul. Once my mission in life is complete, then He can call me home and I can finally discard this mortal coil.

Now, the title says Chocolate Milk & Casting Crowns. I sure that whoever reads this (hello, is anyone out there?!) will think that the title is rather odd. Bear (or is it bare?) with me for a moment. I was just reading a passage on their website from the LifeStories book. Very gut-wrenching. I've flown into a combat zone (Iraq) on a military transport aircraft and have barely escaped needing to puke (excuse my French). I've had my stomach tied in knots because of some of the things that I've allowed myself to be talked into. Nothing has really had such an effect on me as reading the story that I read about Erin Browning and her battle with cancer. I had tears in my eyes (I'm such an emotional he-man, eh?!), my throat was constricted and I couldn't swallow very well, and my stomach hurt. The older I get (I'll be 36 in a couple of days) the more emotional and "genuine" I become.

Now, to tie everything together...the feelings that I had over that story (which I didn't finish reading for fear that I would break down and cry) are God's gift to me. I am not very comfortable with my feelings. I can't stand to lose control. Yet, I need to learn to lose control if I ever want to be the bottle that contains the chocolate milk. I want to get to a point in my life where I can freely give to Him and be what He wants me to be. I want the fear, the pain, the anger to go away. I want to be filled with His mercy, His grace, and His love. For myself, for my family, and for this world.

Cheers